Should I try to do yoga before I start my day? I don’t really know yoga but it’s really just stretching, right? Just fancy stretching. I have this rolled up yoga mat under my bed. My roommate’s dog pissed on it months ago. I took it over to my brother’s house and used his garden hose to wash it and let it dry in the sun. I think most people would’ve just bought a new one but I’m too poor so I have to find other ways around things. You can still see the piss stain.
But after my coffee I don’t think I’ll try yoga, though I know it would make me feel better about the rest of the day. Clear my mind, ya know? But I’d really need to look up some yoga moves on the computer first in order to properly do it. And I don’t want to get into all that.
I’ll just get right into looking for a job. I’ll hit the job websites and find a few things to apply for. I’ll be directed to the company sites and I’ll apply there, attach my resume and cover letter and hit submit and never hear another thing about it. Applying for jobs today is like shooting free throws of crumpled up paper into the trash can from across the room. That submit button is one hell of a black hole.
Maybe I’ll do a little reading first and then hit the job websites. Reading always makes me feel a little more powerful. I guess it just wakes up the mind and maybe gives me a little confidence. Finishing a chapter of a novel can really feel good when everything around you is spinning down the drain. Well, I guess you really have to get lost in what you’re reading in order for it to feel good. That’s the whole point of fiction, right? To get lost in something like it’s a drug. If I’m really feeling bad, I’ll try to read about something horrible like slavery or genocide or the trees all being cut down. That seems to balance things out.
Actually, before I do anything I should go to the gym and get a good workout in. That would really be the best thing for me, and at any rate, my body feels stale. When my body feels stale, a good workout really straightens me out. And I bet nobody would be there on a Sunday. Sometimes it’s better when it’s not busy. Other times I like the energy of a gym packed with people working out and really sweating it up. Like we’re all parts of a big engine.
I’m trying to go ahead and make a decision, but my body won’t move. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, the sheets in a strangled ball. The coffee in my cup has gone cold and all I can do is stare at my bare feet on the floor. I’ll make a move soon. I have no idea what direction I’ll go. Maybe I’ll try to sit here until something comes to me. Maybe I’ll make it over to the window and see what it looks like outside.